Saturday, 3 January 2015

The Usual Resolve

Smoking. Wish I'd never started.
Lungs, throat, ratty moods.

But I took up smoking at the age of 18, to impress people at Uni, and I've been an addict ever since.

Smoking is a useful vice with which to bash myself over the head with and feel bad about.
I know it's not good for me yet I continue to do it.

I have tried one of those e-cigarettes but it's not the same: You see with a cigarette there's a time limit to the fix, but with vaping there isn't. I can puff away until my skin feels itchy.

Smoking is as much about the habit of the structure of my day as it is that my brain refuses to be told it can't have nicotine.

And my resolve to quit is always strongest when I have a full pouch of tobacco.


So, 2015, another quitting attempt.
I may always be a slave to nicotine. I may have to accept it one day.

But not today.

I'm going for my last cigarette right... now!

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